The Interview
by C.M. Oliver is eastwoodgirl
Summary: Inspired by that now-ubiquitous FIRST CrissColfer interview in which, we find Chris wielding a deadly weapon, Darren giggling to something funny he said and we learn of the importance of the 90's. Really. Or: How Chris Colfer saved Darren Criss from the evil clutches of the Wicked Witch of the Fox –erm, -West Coast... just read it. Full summary inside. RPF


**THE INTERVIEW (T; Angst/Drama; KH/BA)**

**Summary**: Inspired by that now-ubiquitous FIRST CrissColfer interview in which, we find Chris wielding a deadly weapon, Darren giggling to something funny he said and we learn of the importance of the 90's. Really. Or: How Chris Colfer saved Darren Criss from the evil clutches of the Wicked Witch of the Fox –erm, -West Coast. Or really: The inner workings of the people involved in this momentous ocassion. CRISSCOLFER.

**Warnings: **If you haven't seen the Fox Lounge interview or at least snippets of it, this won't make sense. If you **don't know** who **Mia Swier** is, this won't make sense. If you **know** who **Mia Swier** is, this won't make sense. If you are a rational, logical, gullible being, this won't make sense. Bottom line is, if you don't understand **freedom of expression** and **creative license**, this won't make sense. If you **hate** CrissColfer then **why the heck are you reading this? **Our favorite lady is cast in a villainous role so if you hate that, no need to go on further. Not for the faint of heart (READ: **CHILLARENS**). Language… or the lack of it, on Darren's part.

**Disclaimer**: **GLEE** belongs to Ryan Murphy. Chris Colfer belongs to his own self. Darren Criss apparently belongs to an entity that must not be named. Mentions of people are based in fact. Parts of the Fox Lounge clip dialogue are altered to avoid law suits or something like that. No copyright infringement intended. Yada-yada-yada…

**A/N: Heh. I had to do it. A little delayed, but… I kind of wanted to put this out in time for the CrissColfer Week over at Tumblr (October 20 -26, 2013 –head on over to my Tumblr **(see end notes)** for details). Still… No reason. No mercy. No sense. It starts a bit weird and serious, and then ends up… well, you know how my CC fanfics end. Apologies for the less than creative title. Enjoy. Review if you must.**

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**The Interview**

**By: C.M. Oliver**

**© 2013**

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_For the numerous CrissColfer shippers who apparently owe their sanity to an insane idea that Darren belongs not to his own self. _

_For Chris Colfer, who always makes the right judgment call in every situation._

_For Darren Criss himself. I feel for you, buddy. Alternative Rock is good, but we need Colfer._

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Darren sighed as he sat on the couch that dominated the set of Fox Lounge. His gelled curls were quickly becoming very stiff in the air conditioned space. He wasn't due for any Glee filming today, and yet, here he was, dressed to perfection as Blaine, his cherry red shirt and suspenders constricting him. The only thought running through his head at that moment was that he needed to breathe.

'_Breathe, Darren, breathe.'_

After receiving a cryptic text from his 'girlfriend' to drop by the Lounge in his 'Blaine' attire, the unease kept creeping up the recesses of the 26 year old's mind. It never happened that way. Usually, it was Ryan who told him to come or Dante, and he knew beforehand who he was sitting the interview with; it never happened that he was asked to come through text, by his 'producer girlfriend' and not told who it was that would be sitting opposite him. Nevertheless, he got there early –let it not be said that Darren Criss was anything but a professional. This was part of his job. He would do it, regardless of circumstances, no matter how questionable.

So there he sat, fiddling with the cue cards he found on the couch, labeled 'Darren' as he waited for the other actor/ actress to arrive, all the while mulling through his head on their identity.

'_Let's see… Lea, Naya… check, check… Chord? Possibly. Maybe one of the newbies… Or maybe…' _Darren shook his head as the last thought crossed his mind and dismissed it entirely. _'They wouldn't... Especially if Mia is setting the whole thing up. I wonder though –' _He was unable to finish his musings though as the door to the Lounge set opened and ushered in a young man clad in a matching red shirt accented with a blue vest. Darren could not help the largely audible gasp that escaped his cherry Chapstick-ed lips.

"Chris?"

The blue-eyed young man in question looked as surprised as his older co-actor as he tentatively made his way to the assembled seating area. He picked up an unlabeled cue card before sitting down and fixing Darren a confused glance.

"Do you and your partner go first?" He asked. "I was told to come by your –" Chris hesitated evidently before sighing out loud. " –Your girlfriend. Does she set things like this up now? Since when?" The younger man crossed his arms against his chest in a protective manner that did not go amiss to Darren. He moved closer to the edge of his seat, closer to Chris.

"I think we're partners this time." He said quietly, as if the mere thought of declaring that out loud would upset the balance of the universe. The set was still empty except for the two of them, but Darren always felt rather intimate with Chris no matter the situation. It was a connection that the two of them shared –a connection that, should be made public knowledge, would probably cause the world to implode. His words were met by a perfectly raised eyebrow.

"Are we now? Has the world gone mad?" Chris's tone was subdued yet curious. "I wonder what the Twitteratis did to make your girlfriend do this –"

"Please –" Darren pleaded earnestly, drawing closer to Chris and gently laying a hand on the younger man's jean-clad thigh. "Please, Chris. Just stop –stop calling her my girlfriend."

Chris met Darren's advance with a well-placed glare. "What, I thought that if you heard it frequently enough it might feel more natural to you." He eyed Darren's hand on him but did nothing to change their positions. Instead, he focused on the hazel eyes that were now boring holes into his. Like always, the two of them manage to communicate with nary a word –subtle glances, the slight turn of the lip… it was more than enough to convey what they verbally could not express freely. In the split-second wordless, soundless exchange, Darren's expression morphed dramatically from worried and doubtful to apologetic.

"I don't know what she's playing at. But I'm here for you, okay? We can do this." Ever so gently, he squeezed Chris' knee. "Let's just get this going and then we'll talk afterwards."

Chris made a move to comment on Darren's impromptu pep talk, but at that exact moment, the crew tasked to film them had entered the room –including Darren's 'girlfriend'. With a meaningful final wink from Darren, the two actors quickly disengaged themselves and took their respective spots –quite far away from each other.

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Mia smiled widely upon seeing the two actors, who were looking rather uncomfortable at the moment. _'Perfect,'_ she thought. _'Now those stupid fans would have no reason to hate me.'_ She quickly schooled her features into a pleasant grin as she addressed both men. "Hey guys, so glad you could make it." She gestured to the cards in their hands. "Let's just shoot right away. You know, make it seem more natural and spontaneous. Fans love that." Immediately, Mia went behind the camera guy and without further ado cued 'action.'

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The effect of Mia's words on Chris and Darren couldn't be any more different. Chris took the nerf gun prop that was beside him and leaned back in his seat. He held the cue card with as much calm as he could manage and took a deep breath; Darren scooted over the edge of the couch, as if trying to close the seemingly insurmountable gap that was between him and Chris. He gripped the cue card in his hand as if his life depended on it and faced the camera. He then painted on a stage smile so wide, it could have cracked the gel-met on his head.

"Welcome to Fox Lounge, I'm Darren Criss – and no, you're not seeing things. I have the very charming Chris Colfer here with me –"

"Enough chit chat, let's get started." Chris quickly and routinely slipped into his role as the sassy Kurt, no doubt that was what he would be asked to do anyway. _'Hide behind the character. Never let your own emotions show.'_ It had been effortlessly drilled into his subconscious ever since time immemorial. It kept everything calm and peaceful, but certainly not happy. At least for those most intimately involved in their charade."So, Mr. Criss, we would like to know… what was the longest time that you've went without a bath?"

A chuckle escaped the older actor's lips. "Uhm… uhm… wait, what day is it now?"

Chris raised an eyebrow the way he knew Kurt would. It was always safer for him to be Kurt especially around Darren, but the smallest of smiles betrayed his candy lips at the other man's response.

"Uh… Uhh.. My turn," Darren sighed as he perused his own cue card. "Uhm… Okay, this one's easy. Uhh… What's your least favorite word?" He fixed Chris a shy glance as he asked this, a look that Chris would have had to be blind not to see._ 'What the hell is he doing? We're on camera, dammit!'_

"Rehearsal." He answered rather curtly, still mesmerized by the way Darren was acting around him. Whenever the rare opportunity came that they were seen together in public, Darren always acted like himself: loud, goofy, carefree… but this performance, this… act… this was more Blaine –or better yet, it was more of a love-struck Blaine, a shade that not many people knew was in fact, based on reality. A love-stuck Blaine was synonymous to a love-struck Darren Criss. Chris ignored the butterflies churning the contents of his stomach and spoke out the next question on his list. "Best thing about the 90's?"

Again, Darren surprised him. "Uh, huh, uhm… alternative rock music?" _'Really? Criss?'_ Chris was becoming more and more intrigued by the second, not to mention totally out of sorts. Darren was totally blowing this interview by at least a mile. PR would be skinning him alive. The two of them were supposed to act… neutral… maybe not clinical, but still… Does Darren have any idea what he was doing? Was he trying to send a message to the world? When Darren gave him another one of his sidelong glances, Chris decided that it was time to bite the bullet, throw the towel and go with the flow or whatever... He had waited for too long. Three years? How the hell did he and Darren manage that? Wasn't that what their show was all about? Being yourself? _'Who died and made them kings anyway? To hell with PR.' _He thought_. 'To hell with those control freak bastards.' _He then cocked his head to the side and countered the look Darren was giving him with one of his own. _'Two can play at this game,'_ he projected to Darren wordlessly. A small grin in reply told him that the other actor understood. _'Game on. Let's show them how it's done…'_

"Wrong," Chris admonished him, in that tone that wasn't Kurt's but his own. "My birth." _'Damn, that felt good. I'll never do another interview hiding behind a character ever again.'_

"Damn it!" Darren appeared genuinely upset by missing that answer. "That's right, you were born in the 90's!"

"Correct."

"Uh… Wait, you were born in the nineties?" Darren pretended to scratch his chin in deep thought. He then faced the camera and muttered "weird," under his breath, which would have sent Chris guffawing if not for the knowledge that they were being filmed. Chris Colfer does not laugh out loud like a crazy lunatic in front of the camera. So, he settled for biting his lips in a heroic attempt to stave off the inevitable. With that exchange, it had felt to both actors like a heavy load had been finally lifted off their shoulders. Chris and Darren could not help but exchange micro-nods in between dialogues. They were finally doing it… being themselves. Fearlessly and shamelessly. It may not be that grand of a revelation yet, but he was okay with baby steps as he knew Darren would be. It may have been brought about by less than acceptable circumstances, but Chris knew when to thank his lucky stars, no questions asked. He glanced quietly over at Mia and gave her his trademark smirk. This was her idea after all…

'_Take that, bitch. You and the rest of your cohorts…'_

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Mia saw through the act: the sideway glances, Darren's inability to form a coherent thought without blushing, mumbling and spacing out, and eventually Chris' lack of biting comments regarding Darren's antics. She frowned. What was happening? Are those two forgetting their long-standing arrangement with Darren's PR? CrissColfer was but a fantasy. Darren and Chris are nothing more than two co-workers who have to kiss and smile in front of the camera… well at least when they were in their roles as Kurt and Blaine…

But this time, yes, the camera was there. And yes, they were suited up as Kurt and Blaine. But at the onset of the interview, they introduced themselves as Darren and Chris… So that meant…

A sudden outburst of rage enveloped Mia's thoughts as she watched her 'boyfriend' slyly flirt with his on-screen partner –out of character. She'd be damned if she did not do anything to stop this. Mia made a cutting motion with her open palm to her throat to cue the camera guy to stop recording, but a rather loud throat clearing caught her actions in a halt. Her eyes were immediately accosted by the sight of Chris Colfer pointing a gun at her. Surely, it wasn't a real gun, but still…

And Chris's face was all smiles, but behind that smile was a look Mia knew all too well.

'_Bitch'_ Chris's eyes said as he pointed the nerf gun at her. It was an open secret how the young actor hated her –hated her from the moment she signed on to be Darren's beard –hated her for toying with Darren's affections –fuelling the fire of rage of their fans with her attention-grabbing antics –hated her for stealing the spot that was rightfully Chris' to begin with. But the chill in those eyes right now made Mia shiver.

'_No more…' _Chris' expressive eyes said. _'No more playing God with Darren's life. This stops right here, right now.'_

Mia tried to avoid that piercing glare and instead look to Darren for comfort. She failed. Darren was too busy looking at his co-actor like he was the sun or something even more venerable. From that point on, Darren Criss would no longer have eyes for anyone but Chris Colfer, it seemed, the world and the public be damned twice over. Her heart sunk in realization. As Darren and Chris recited the exit spiel to finally close the segment, Mia could not help but think of what a big mistake she may have made.

And this time, no Twitter post can save her once this interview is aired.

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**A/N: **There, done! I may or may not continue this verse if there is enough interest in it. Please do not hesitate to let me know how it was. _By the way, you can also check me and my stuff out at:_

FACEBOOK: **C.M. Oliver is Eastwoodgirl **(#cmoliverfanfiction)

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If you want to follow me, please don't be shy. Warning though: I talk mostly about Klaine and Snarry and Glee and Harry Potter and Darren Criss and Chris Colfer and Music and Movies and Pop Culture and about the general unfairness of life (yeah, a lot of those things).

Anyhow, I'm glad you took time to read this. Again, please don't forget to drop me a review! They fuel my desire to post. And thanks in advance. Love, C.

**P.S.** I was hovering between posting this for Day 1 (First and Foremost) and Day 2 (The World Wide Web) of the CrissColfer Week Fest. I think I'd just post it on both days. And there may be something in the works regarding those Blind Gossip Items (dated October 7 and 8 respectively.)I do not take an attack to Darren's character standing down. You should look out for it. I may post it on the 26th (Day 7: Dirty Little Secret). Who knows? Until next time. -C.


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